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MST3K Madness


MST3K Madness: The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Tournament

Joel, Mike, and the MSTies settle it on the court…of public opinion.

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The Bracket Yard is a website about sports, but occasionally, like for MST3K Madness, we veer off-course. In this case, it’s a course change most welcome in talking about Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of television’s greatest shows, and the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Tournament.

MSTies have waited 18 years for the Satellite of Love to return to orbit. On April 14, Jonah and the Bots riff crappy movies once more on Netflix. Over the last two decades, Hollywood has had some legitimate triumphs. Yet, for every grand slam they hit, the film industry churned out a pop-up bunt. It is these movies that must be mercilessly ridiculed, shaming the actors’ children and children’s children for seven generations.

I’ll settle for four generations, since I’m being generous, but I really would prefer seven.

March Madness is underway, and soon, college basketball will crown its champion. We too will crown a champion of MST3K Madness. This tournament answers a simple question: Which Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode was fairest of them all?

Many historians of the show — yes, they do exist — hold that the “Joel Era” and the “Mike Era” are very different. To keep things on the straight and narrow, we have two “regions” in this bracket: the Joel Region and the Mike Region. Our selection committee worked tirelessly to select the sixteen best episodes of each era. They were sequestered in a room for eight days straight, having to use a bedpan for their most private moments. Rest assured, however, that an unlimited supply of Dunkin’ Donuts was made available to them.

MST3K Madness: Mike Region Seeds List

1 Space Mutiny
2 Puma Man
3 The Final Sacrifice
4 Hobgoblins
5 Soultaker
6 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
7 Time Chasers
8 Final Justice
9 Werewolf
10 The Giant Spider Invasion
11 Prince of Space
12 Girl in Gold Boots
13 The Touch of Satan
14 Jack Frost
15 Laserblast
16 Santa Claus

MST3K Madness: Joel Region Seeds List

1 Mitchell
2 Manos: The Hands of Fate
3 I Accuse My Parents
4 Eegah!
5 Pod People
6 Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
7 Godzilla vs. Megalon
8 Gamera
9 Cave Dwellers
10 Teenagers From Outer Space
11 Fugitive Alien
12 Warrior of the Lost World
13 Monster A-Go-Go
14 The Day The Earth Froze
15 Catalina Caper
16 Master Ninja I


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