The USA Big Brother Tournament of Winners
Which of the victorious Houseguests reigns supreme? Freshly reloaded for 2018.
The Big Brother Tournament will crown the all-time best winner in the history of the United States edition of the show.
We originally ran this tournament prior to the Big Brother 19 debacle, and we’ve updated the field in preparation for Big Brother 20.
Big Brother has become a cultural institution in America, or, as some say, ‘Murica. For almost two decades, houseguests have gathered under the watchful eyes of fans. In a short while, Julie Chen will welcome a gaggle of new contestants into the Los Angeles set vaguely resembling a house. (It really doesn’t look like a house.)
Every year, there’s the Southerner, the conniving bitch, the moron(s), the floaters, those desperately seeking a showmance and getting it, those desperately seeking a showmance and NOT getting it, and the dork (see previous entry). More recent seasons have also featured returning veterans, perhaps too many. Maybe this season won’t have any, at least until Alison Grodner shoves Paul back in the front door and hands him 12 “Friendship” bracelets. (Don’t even think about it, CBS.)
We set out to answer the question definitively, and in only the way a place like The Bracket Yard can. Who was the best winner in all of its prior seasons?
Big Brother Tournament: Determining The Field
Before we begin, let’s get one thing right. We know that particular BB winners are thoroughly despised, putting it charitably. If you gather 50 BB fans, you’ll probably find that all of them have haters. We are not going to please everyone. For God’s sake, don’t take any of this personally. If you do and you’re not a past winner ranked in the bottom half, please seek help. If you are a past winner reading this and your ranking bothers you, please also seek help. You were on TV and won money to sit in a house and let people watch you. You’re still somewhat famous and we’re talking about you.
We had to consider a couple things when putting this together. Our question was this: do we include the winner of Celebrity Big Brother 1, Marissa Winokur, and Over The Top, Morgan Willett? First, we thought no, because those were for all intents and purposes different shows.
Then, it occurred to us: so was Big Brother 1, and we included Eddie. If we include him, then we have to count the other two as Big Brother winners, right? But, if we do, the criteria in seeding them would be harsher, as with Eddie. Let’s be honest: none of them would win this tournament, anyway.
Our final disposition on the matter: there are 21 potential contenders for the best Big Brother winner ever. Numbers 17 through 21 have no chance, anyway. Therefore, we have decided to select the top 16 Big Brother winners and pit them against one another in the Big (Brother) Dance. No more play-ins like we did last year. This obviously gives us more of a decision as we are ranking the top 16 and casting away five winners. The 2018 seed list is below.
Big Brother Tournament Seeds List, As Determined By Our Selection Committee
|1||Dan Gheesling||Season 10|
|2||Will Kirby||Season 2|
|3||Derrick Levasseur||Season 16|
|4||Jun Song||Season 4|
|5||Maggie Ausburn||Season 6|
|6||Dick Donato||Season 8|
|7||Ian Terry||Season 14|
|8||Rachel Reilly||Season 13|
|9||Mike “Boogie” Malin||Season 7|
|10||Hayden Moss||Season 12|
|11||Nicole Franzel||Season 18|
|12||Drew Daniel||Season 5|
|13||Lisa Donahue||Season 3|
|14||Josh Martinez||Season 19|
|15||Steve Moses||Season 17|
|16||Jordan Lloyd||Season 11|
Big Brother Tournament Snubs, From First To Last
- Andy Herren, Season 15
- Marissa Jaret Winokur, Celebrity Big Brother
- Morgan Willett, Over The Top
- Adam Jasinski, Season 9
- Eddie McGee, Season 1
Andy Herren was the winner of Season 15, a year more memorable for widespread bigotry than the gameplay. You all remember Aaryn the playfully joking “non-racist.” Let’s point out that while Aaryn, GinaMarie, Spencer, and others said some naughty things, so did Andy. I don’t need to remind the dearest of BB fans about the time he talked about Elissa and beads while holding a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.
Known (not) affectionately by some as “The Rat,” Andy was not a popular BB winner, rising to the top of CBS’s unintended Klan convention. We don’t hold that against him per se, and he did win some compes, but others of his game moves were understated. Herren floated plenty, using his mouth to pit one houseguest against another. Unlike most rats, he embraced “The Exterminators,” the alliance he used to evict his enemies and rise to the top. To his credit, it worked, despite the internet hate he’s gotten. The floaters of the world united and got him all the way. He has made a very nice social media following for himself and is a decent follow.
Marissa Winokur won the first installment of Celebrity Big Brother in early 2018. It’s not that she was an undeserving winner, but Ross Mathews should have been the guy. He was the best player in the house, but a bitter jury handed it to Marissa. The bar for her is high to get into the Big Brother Tournament, more than most, because the CBB season was so short. However, BBCeleb had more game play in three weeks than Big Brother 19 did the whole season.
The winner of Big Brother’s only Over The Top season was Morgan Willett. She’s going to lose some points because the format of the season made for a popular vote finale, and America otherwise had its hands in a little too much. Her housemates did not pick her; the country did. I would be interested to see her play on a regular BB season, as she was one of the best players in that house.
Adam Jasinski was the winner of “Season” 9, one afflicted by the writers’ strike. Most BB fans will tell you that the first and ninth seasons were abominations unto the land, but especially this one. The one and only winter edition of Big Brother gave us its worst effort in almost two decades. Adam won, and we use the term loosely, after having done basically nothing in the house. People only remember him now for having been arrested, and the cast for being an agglomeration of unlikable ne’er-do-wells.
Big Brother would have been better off skipping this season. Instead, to put it one way, Adam won and, er, invested his winnings in his business ventures. Their being completely illegal is beside the point.
It’s not really Eddie McGee’s fault that he’s here, just that he was on Season 1, which involved no strategy whatsoever. In a later season, he may well have been a fine player, but we’ll never know. Will Kirby is considered the first true winner of BB in its current form. Sure, people liked him, but it was a popularity contest.
Jozea, savior of the people, had a better chance of winning Big Brother 18 than Eddie does of winning this tournament. And if the Messiah can’t win a reality show, what hope do the rest of us have?